Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I sure wish PDA stood for Pussy Dick and Ass.

There is nothing more disgusting to me than any sort of public displays of affection.

When I am trying to get my drink on and turn around at the bar to a slimy guido putting
his hand up his bump-it girlfriends skirt…I want to fucking puke. When I see two fucking hipsters walking down the street holding hands and stopping to swap spit…I want to move to another city. When I am victim to two fucking middle aged fat people in MY sports bar playing grab ass in front of the big screen, I want to take them down like a line backer.

Look…we have all been there. I have been the girl who has sucked face in a booth at BOG then proceeded to get finger banged at the rack of Union Jacks all in one night. It was no panties Thursday for Christ sake…at least I was fucking shit canned to the point I pissed myself...and that's not even a good enough excuse!

Even though sometimes the sauce can get the better of you…just remember that it isn’t okay for you to suck face in public! Dear GOD...I can't believe fuckers do it sober! Any person I have ever dated, or fucked, has known that I do not want you to put your fucking paws all over me,let alone hold my fucking hand. God…that might make it look like I am committed or something!

I don’t give a shit if you just got hitched, just broke up, it's your once a month "Mom Jeans Night Out", or worse need attention because of your fucking daddy issues...get a GODDAMN room already, or at least, take it to the bathroom stall like I do. There are sexy ways to show you want to bone somebody and it doesn’t have to be done in front of multiple innocent victims who are forced to see your slimy stiff tongue reaching down some randos throat.

Coffee shops, restaurants, bars, or even walking down the street…keep your fucking mouth and dry humping to yourself. Nobody thinks it’s cute, or romantic. I don’t give a fuck if you think you are in love…most likely one of the two is fucking somebody else anyway and is currently infecting you with some sort of STD they just picked up.

If I wanted to watch two people get it on, I would rather watch porn or go to the swingers club. At least I can see some bitch’s asshole and a dude with real hair on his chest.

I mean riddle me this... Which would you rather watch?

a. Two people sucking face.

b. Two people fucking.

c. Three or more people fucking.

Hit me in the bathroom stall... I mean in the comment area and quit with your fucking PDA’s already…Its turning me into an alcoholic.