Friday, April 8, 2011

I eat more chicken than any man ever seen…

Yes…I want you to be my backdoor man. The term "backdoor man" originally came from a woman cheating on her husband and the other man exiting from the back door. But since the dirty slutty 1960’s it is a double entendre also meaning practicing anal sex.

I am beginning to find out how many bitches don’t give up the ass…and I mean literally…their asshole. What are they scared of? I have also realized how many dudes actually don’t like something in their ass or anal sex with a woman. Really? Get a hold of your fucking sexuality already! Look…I can understand that it isn’t everybody’s cup of fucking tea…but don’t knock it until you try it.

If you do it right…anal sex can be rewarding for both partners. There are so many dumb fucking assholes out there that not only don’t know what the fuck they are doing with the vagina…but are so selfish they forget that sex is actually a two way fucking street. If both partners communicate and can laugh and have a good time in bed…then anal sex shouldn't be embarrassing or disgusting.

Here are a few tips on how to make anal sex work for you and your partner:

- LUBE LUBE LUBE. Don’t just stick it in without it. No fucking way.

- The clit is there…fucking use it! Whether or not your lady touches it or you man up and do it yourself…find time to make sure the clitoris is getting attention during this process.

- As one of my friends so nicely puts it…sometimes you gotta play poop. Don’t be embarrassed…just try to understand your body and have some common sense.

- Make sure your lady has already cum…there is no back and forth here…once it’s in the brown eye…you can’t go back.

- Slowly make it happen … inch by inch. Don’t just shove the fucker in!

- KEEP IT IN…once it is in…keep it there. You can move it around…but try to not completely pull out as frequent as you would if it was a vagina.

- Make sure the lady feels like she has control of the situation…most woman want to know they can stop at anytime if they need to.

- I recommend that you don’t watch hardcore porn and think anal sex is just like that. Give me a fucking break already.

- Wear a condom…I know sometimes a few of us don’t follow that rule….but please try your best.

Now…man the fuck up and try to expand your horizons or spice things up. I believe you will be thanking me later…so…you are welcome.

Like my dad always said…you can’t get pregnant if you swallow or take it in the ass. He is such a wise man.