Thursday, September 2, 2010

Hangin' out the passenger side of his best friend's ride…

Not only have men these days become giant vaginas and can’t even give their own car an oil change, but also in today’s economy they can’t even afford fucking car insurance.

Would you date a guy without a job…or worse without any money?

To be fair, it is tough to find a job right now, and even guys with huge swinging cocks are getting laid off. Do those guys really expect to get a date or laid for that matter?

I am such a drunk, that sometimes I don’t even care what the fuck a dude does for a living, as long as he can afford to buy me a stiff drink. Dating is all about entertainment, drinks, food, and sex…and you can’t get any of those for free. It still amazes me when a grown ass man thinks he can fuck a bitch without even taking her for cheap happy hour! Where have all the real men gone? Is Donald Draper the only one left?

Most of the chicks I know have their own jobs, make their own goddamn money…but still expect a man to treat her like a lady. Broke ass motherfuckers need not apply! If you don’t have cash to pay for at least part of the bill, don’t expect to fucking get laid. Even if you have good looks and charm, women aren’t stupid and can spot a scrub a mile away. It seems like there are more lazy dudes out there riding in their friends Mercedes, pretending to have something they don’t. We know you take public transportation you douche, and no…we won’t give you a ride home after our date!

Even men need to start having financial dating standards. Who wants to take a broke bitch out who can’t even pay for tampons? What…you can’t take your clothes off to make ends meet? At least a fucking stripper or a whore has more class than that dumb bitch. I would rather have my bills paid and suck a dick for money than wonder around like a hopeless cunt. Women like this are STILL getting “accidentally” knocked up so they don’t have to work. Pussy is not that magical for you to not wear a condom or believe she really takes the pill.

I am not a woman who has ever really been about dating men with money, but as I get older, I realize it is a very good quality. I BEG TO ALL OF YOU…Please stop enabling these dumb ass people! If a dude can’t buy you a drink, do you think he deserves a blowjob? If a dumb bitch doesn’t have a job and has three hungry kids at home, do you really think she just wants to have sex and no relationship? Wake the fuck up! Dating is about having a good time and not being talked into paying someone’s cable bill.

Ladies! That being said, if you have a rare moment when a guy buys you a steak dinner and you don’t give him road head…I will personally find you and throw human feces on your dirty slut face. Just like you deserve.

Now…who is taking me for a whiskey tonight? I am feeling a little mouthy if you know what I mean.