Thursday, October 25, 2012

Girl...He’s the Devil in Disguise. Don’t run, walk.

Sometimes we have those moments where we meet the very WRONG person and forget all about our rules. The smart you, the realistic you knows this asshole is nothing but trouble. Why do we still proceed? Why do we put ourselves in a hot and heavy mess?

Because we all what a bad boy, a dirty motherfucker...candy coated misery.

Open up your eyes, just because they are exciting doesn’t mean they are good for you. But the good news is...they aren’t Mr. Right, they are Mr. Right now. Because we are all dumb bitches at times and refuse to listen to the angel on your shoulder, here are a few reasons why I believe Mr. VERY wrong is actually is Mr. Right Now.

Dirty Dick makes Nice Dick look better:
When you have had the biggest fucking asshole on the block, the other blocks don’t look so bad now do they? Sometimes our standards can be a little high, until we meet fucking Satan. After a drinking problem and your friends finally ignoring your will realize exactly what you don’t want...EVER AGAIN!

Who doesn’t love hate sex:
One great thing about dating Mr. Wrong is the awesome fights and hate sex. Calling him an asshole in the bar, crying, and then having him fuck you in the ladies room is nothing but HOT! He will always apologize; only after he face fucks you and makes you feel like shit. Take advantage of the fact that you are dating a hateful person, fight as much as you can...and then get your mind blown!

Nice, happy, healthy relationships can also be very boring. We love those bad boys because we never know what is next. Is he going to fuck that stripper he has been “talking” to all night? Is he going to stop calling me? Is he going to fuck one of my friends? We always have these insecurities that create excitement and allow us to never get bored. Happy = Snore.

I need a spanking:
Always being the one fucking the relationship need to be ready to suffer for your sins. Who doesn’t like being a bad girl? When you are constantly getting dumped or kicking that fucker to the curb, before you get back together with him..cause you will...take advantage. Really dig deep into that black book and recharge your batteries. That’s what hot bartenders and valet guys are for.

I will take the challenge please:
I don’t walk around everyday hoping that everything in my life is easy. The people who wander around with handouts, an easy fulfilling day, and never being challenged must fucking suck. When I am playing foosball...I just don’t want to whip some sorry dudes ass...I want to be scared I might lose!  Same goes for Mr. Right Now, Mr. Always a fucking asshole. Smart, ambitious women don’t want to just take it lying down...we want a bit of a challenge. Dating the fucking Devil helps you understand challenge and how important it can be when you do decide to find somebody better.

Single isn’t so bad:
After being ran through the mud, puffy fucking eyes, and lots of drugs and is a relief to be single. There is nothing better than being alone and really enjoying the single life after a fucking hot mess. You won’t be looking for love, you will be looking to have fun and forget all together about men. might actually get the fucking balls already to eat some pussy. Don’t knock it, till you try it girl.

The next time you find yourself crying in your cube after a nasty call from your loser Casanova, remember he is only Mr. Right Now...and take advantage of the learning process you will endure from nothing but heartache.  And also the hate sex. Please don’t forget about hate sex. My fav.