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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Put some catnip in your pocket...

The pussy. How do you get it?

It is not as challenging as one might think. You might have some ho's like myself, who believe taking the edge off and sowing your oats is by far the way to live. Or...you may come across the other 80% of females who hold back the vag like a park ranger holding a baby bald eagle still getting its peach fuzz.

COME ON! There is nothing more annoying and aggravating then somebody who won't give it up after three dates. Your pussy is not that fucking magical. This isn't fucking Disney. Get over yourself or come out of the closet already. Don't be scared babygirl, that is what a condom and Gardasil is for.

Guys...if a gal hasn't given it up after three dates, then it shouldn't worry you to move on, because...if you follow any of my advice, you would be taking the edge off with another girl later that night anyway.

Ladies...always assume that a guy you are newly dating is most likely seeing somebody else. Would you want to be with a dude that isn't in demand? Stop thinking you are the only woman with a warm wet hole.

First...you must tame the kitty before she will play with your balls of yarn. The Cat is like any other animal, it respects confidence but as soon as you show weakness...it will leave you with a $200 bar tab and cold lonely bed.

Always play the confident card. Donald Draper wasn't a character created out of thin air. Women love a man who will hold their head high and doesn't immediately come crawling. Donald Draper is like a patient sniper, he knows when to take THE shot. Be the man that makes a girl wait for a glance, and maybe a smile. Don't be a stalker and stare at her while you lick your hair-lip. Don't try to pet her...until she comes to you.

Once the kittycat brushes up against you, because she will, act surprised, cool, and turned on all at the same time. Women want to feel sexy...and showing them you are flattered and excited by their appearance (in a non-sex offender fashion) is the key to the golden fleece.

If you are lucky and suave enough for her to stick around...don't be cocky. There are millions of sausages in the butcher shop. Stop, Look, and Listen. This is an age old sales tip...that actually still works today, even in dating. People love to talk about themselves. Ask as many questions as you possibly can, and always dig deeper. You must act interested in her college stories and love for wine. Keep your eye on the prize and the cat will come a callin.

Yes, she is very interesting, but not as interesting as how the other felines in the room are perceiving you. She might not be the one coming for the catnip, but all of the sudden the doors have been open. As soon as you talk to a good looking girl in the room, all the others want to know what you have packin. Seem interested, without being affectionate, you never know if her best friend is better looking.

Women...just like men enjoy the hunt.

Stop, Look, and Listen. Keep your eye on the room and the prize...the catnip in your pocket is confidence and awareness...use it.

Lets see if you can make that kitty purrr.

Now take a shot of whiskey, and wet that cigar.

1 comments:

Jennifer Melody said...

I like how one of the key words phrases is "how to get laid". It's important to specify that...seeing as this is such sound advice!